i have no idea what to name this....lol

well, lets see, where to start?? today was rather difficult you can say. my fiance and i are staying with family untill our move to new york, and this woman can be so hard to handle sometimes. like today she cut the power to our bedroom, just because she thinks i am spending too much time in my bedroom playing with my daughter. my little girl has got to be the cutest little thing, and she has such a sweet smile, but unfortunitly she also has colic, which is hard. so i spend most of my time comforting her, and rocking her. she cries soooo much, it gets frustrating sometimes.all the time i feel so out of place, and so helpless. plus i still miss my mom. she hasnt been dead long a little under a month, and i still expect a phone call from her laughing at everyone. my mom was a character. she definitly had her own style. since her death, my dad wont really talk to me, and the rest of his side of the family have pretty much dropped all communication. i wonder if mom knows what her death has done. you think its true she is looking down on us and wishing she was here? i regret her never meeting my daughter. i was having my daughter when mom got really sick, and was still in the hospital recovering from the birth while she was in the same hospital one wing over and one floor up, slipping into a coma that she would never wake up from. how could a person deal with that. i wish they had a chance to meet, my mother and my daughter i mean. i miss you mommy!

the end of a life, the begining of something new

well i have some bad news, but some good news as well. My mother passed away about 2 weeks ago. Its been weird. i still kinda expect to hear her answer the phone when ever i call over to my dads house. he is taking about as well as anyone can i guess. but they say time makes it easier. lets just wait and see. on a better note, i have been talking to my daughter again. my children were taken from me about 2 years ago, due to a situation which i could not control, but the family that is adopting my little girl is allowing us to talk on the phone and through email, which is really great of her. well i will write more soon , thanks for reading..