life really is nothing more then agravation most of the time isnt it?

Robert( my husband) and i have been living with my sister for something close like 8 months, and everyday it is another form of drama. she has 3 kids 15, 14 and 11, and each of them have more issues then she is willing to deal with. she jumps from guy to guy looking for anyone that would be willing to keep her from being alone, and in the meantime her children suffer. her eldest, is so screwed up in the head, and is in such a need for any form of attention from anyone, she has taken to making up separate personalities. i caught her looking up the symptoms of PT SD and multiple personality disorder online. her mother took her to the shrink, and low and behold she is now documented as having 5 different personalities including a British woman named Elizabeth, who doesn't even know how to speak in a British accent,. although the fake one she uses comes close. it ridiculous. her middle son, has a temper on him that is so out of control she finally took him to a psych hospital and had him committed. but she still doesn't realize her kids have issues....i try and support her every decision, but it is just getting too much now, and my marriage and my relationship with my own daughter is starting to suffer....i have no idea how to get out of this situation, with out causing harm to a friendship that has lasted pretty much my entire lifetime....................

tired, aggravated, guilty

i know i havent really written in a while, and sry to anyoine that is keeping track. things are pretty well hectic in my life at this point. i have a beautiful 1 yr old daughter with my husband, and we are 5 months along in our pregnancy with our son. we are living with my sister and her 3 undisaplined children, and to make it more of an emotional rollercoaster, my dad and his new girlfriend are staying here with us for a week. i dont like his new fling, and i still say it is too soon after my mom for him to be so serious about anyone, but i guess it is his life, and his mistake. she has turned him into a totally different man, and in many ways not for the better. She is only like 25 years old against his 43, and although my mom was 10 yrs older then him, they fit togather better. this chick is just so...................i dont even know the words, and i like to think of myself as a fairly wellrounded, articulate female. i may only be 29 but i know 8 months is not a long enough mourning period to get over a marriage of almost 22 years. this woman doesnt work, and pretty much does nothing., they got here yesterday afternoon, and all she does is sleep. I mean i sleep alot aswell, the difference is i am 5 mionths pregnant, the mother of a very active 1 yr old, as well as a housewife, i clean and cook , and tend to my husband and his many needs, as well as helping my sister fight and tend to her 3 teenage children. im not saying i am better then her, i am saying that my father isnt the brightest bulb in the box, and he proved as much when he decided on this female to spend his time with. they have been togaether 8 months, the woman now shares,my mothers bed with him, not to mention her house. and all she does in return is cleanup alil bit. definitly not someone i would have chosen for my worst enemy, not to mention my father.I dont know, maybe im wrong, or maybe i just expected more intellect on my fathers part. but i definitly didnt expect him to get so involved with anyone less then a year after we pulled the plug on moms ventilator. he cries all the time for her, and he is always thinking of mommy and talking about her, and not often do you hear him say anything great abolut his new chick, other then she is a good girl, we eat out alot, but she is sweet. which means nothing too me. i dont care if she is a retired nun,. she shouldnt be in my mothers house, sharing my mothers bed, with my mothers husband.i dont know , maybe im just being petty, or 9childish, but i know for a fact from my fatehrs own mouth, this new girl, is not going to ever have the same kind of love he had/has for mom.............................................

All about me!!!!!

All about me!!!!!

1. Do you like blue cheese? ewwww not really, my husband does though

2. Have you ever smoked? yes and i kinda still do, but not much

3. Do you own a gun? no, not since my sister was shot and killed

4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite?red

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yup, mainly cause everytime i go they tell me i am having a baby, or something else is "wrong"

6. What do you think of hot dogs? they are fine once in a while

7. Favorite Christmas movie?scrooged, the preachers wife

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, always coffee...lol

9. Can you do push ups?yeah a few

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my studded labret ring

11. Favorite hobby? sewing, playing with my daughter, and playing on my oversized video game(computer) used to like to cook, but i have noone to cook for other then my hubby and that leads to a fight(he thinks he is a chef.....HAHAHA)

12. Do you have A.D.D.?no i dont ......i can do u one better I have A.D.H.D

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? i think i am too opinionated, and open minded.

14. Middle name? malia

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?my head hurts, i have heartburn and im actually getting tired!!!

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? water and coffeeX2

17. Current worry? tomorrow

18. Current hate right now?this stupid headache and my stupid computer

19. What do you wish for in the coming year?absolution of anykind, and a few other things, but i cant say or they wont come true

20. How did you bring in the New Year? kissed my hubby and went back to sleep.....lol

21. Where would you like to go? back to FLA

22. Three people who will complete this? i have no idea really....lol

23. Do you own slippers?yes and no, i have slippers, but i really dont wear them i usually wear my flippys around the house

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? orange

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? oh yeah so comfy

26. Can you whistle?yeah kinda

27. Favorite color?pink, and red

28. Red or white wine? neither i hate wine, i am a whiskey kinda gurl...lol

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? i dont sing in the shower really, i usually sing in the car

30. Favorite girl's name? kaia, nani, moana, heather naomi

31. Favorite boy's name? anthony, christopher alexander, desalin

32. What's in your pocket right now? i dont have pockets, i am in my night gown

33. Last thing that made you laugh?my hubby

34. Best bed sheets as a child?fraggle rock....lol, oh my god i feel totally old now.....hahahaha

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? i dont remember having any injuries, i mean i had stitches once, but it wasnt bad

36. Do you love the place that you live? yup

37. Do you walk around the house naked? nope, wouldnt wanna give the kids and family nightmares....lol

38. Who is your loudest friend? TARA

39. How many pets do you have? 1 kitty in house

40. Does someone have a crush on you? i hope so, i married him

41. What is your favorite book? No way can I pick just one! dont know right now too early in the am and i havent been asleep yet

42. What is your favorite candy? the dove candy bars .... SOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!

43. Favorite Sports Team? dont like sports, that is hubbys dept.

44. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?a song for mamma(boyz 2 men) and a few people will think i am crazy for even mentioning

so alone, yet too crowded to breathe

it is now 4 am on april first and i find my mind swimming. today is my sisters birthday,,she died in 2000, and wouldve bben like 35 today. she died before we really even had a chance to get close.my mom and dads anniversery is today. they wouldve been married for like 20 something yrs (if she had'nt died i mean) for the last few days all i seen to think about is my mom. was there something that couldve been done to prevent her death? does she know i miss her, and need her so much? i find myself going through some things, where her advise would be really useful. i went to her to talk about everything. and now she isnt here, and there is no substitute. Yes I am surrounded by friends and family that care, but none that no a thing about me really, atleast not about my thought processes.and it would take too long to explain myslf really. my husband loves me as i do him, but all he can do to console me is hold me and remind me that life will go on as it always seems to in times of crisis. but like i said even then all i think about is how mom wouldve delt with a situation like this. where although there are tons of people that have my back, sometimes it feels like i have no where to turn. i know im repetative, but for those of you that are keeping up with my posts you must like it, cause you keep coming back (hehe) I dont know maybe things will seem different in the morning when i wake up. good night all, ill write soon.